Christmas

Mom is working this Christmas which is just as well because we didn't really have money to get gifts and stuff. So I went to my brothers house for breakfast and i hung out for a bit. We had the usual vague conversation that we usually have. Completely lifeless and hollow...mostly because my brother is more like a stern father than anything else. He doesn't know how to be a brother any more than i know how to be a sister.Anyway, as per usual he spent our time talking about how mom is neglectful and everything that ever went wrong in his childhood is her fault. ::rolls eyes:: everyones parents fuck up thier lives.. but as far as being a screw up my mom has more than made up for what she did wrong in my childhood. I know there are things that happened before i can remember but for the love of god get the hell over it! Grow up and stop blaming other people .. you know?i think its ironic because he accuses mom of pushing the blame for things that went wrong off on other people,even now, and he blames her for his problems. I mean i get it, technicly speaking every thing that mom did wrong was her fault and it effected us because we are her kids.....but who cares? and for some reason the fact that my mom is not married is the reason behind all of her problems. My brither is one of those men that thinks women are only happy when they are married...... i dont get it. Shes a nurse, she seems happy enough to me, i mean shes going through the change... but every woman does that and she'll get over it. It just annoying how he brings it up every time its just me and him... and it seemes to me that the only way he doesn't worry about me is if i talk about how im going out to parties and hanging out with boys.. I had to cautally lie to him today and tell him i was seeing someone so that he would act like he was enjoying the conversation. It's like in the victorian era were women were only good if they married important men...also my brother suddenly things that enjoying life and experiancing life is something that involves doing anything and everything regardless of morals, legallities,Consiquence and respect for yoursefl, your family and generaly everyone else, that you can do so that you dont "miss out" instead of just experiancing the GOOD stuff and maybe living a some what quite life because your not on a path to self destruct. He's a masganistic asshole and i dont think ill be trying so hard to be close to him. Merry- damn- Christmas